Self-Portrait as Grande Odalisque

2013
Graphite on archival paper with gold leaf
Image: 8 3/4” x 12 1/2”
Frame: 15.5” x 19.25” x 1 1/4”
Shipped framed

TRIGGER WARNING: this description contains references to my experience of sexual assault.

It is difficult to know what to think of beautiful things that remind you of past harm. I loved creating this self-portrait! I enjoyed experimenting with a new drawing technique and working with gold leaf for the first time. And creating a self-portrait that was unashamedly erotic felt liberating.

However, I drew this piece based on a photograph taken by my first employer Angus Whyte, who started offering me massages when I was 17 (the photo that this artwork is based on was taken years later when I was an adult).

In this composition, I blurred the boundary between subject and background by wrapping my body in the scene’s decorative elements, suggesting that I was giving myself over while also being consumed and being made to be like just another visually interesting object.